I know I keep talking about trying to do something new. Trying to do something that is not only out of my comfort zone but thinking out of my self imposed box. Well the fact is, that it is way harder to do that. I can think about change all I want, but I need to do the next step. I need to take the action. Change is a bold and scary thing. Why can I dye my hair red or brown without blinking an eye, but waking up and taking control of my life scares me to death?
I have been on a path of self destruction since I can remember. Eating the wrong food, doing the wrong thing, saying the wrong thing. When I say I am doing and saying the wrong thing, it doesn’t mean I am doing drugs, stealing, etc. What I am trying to say is that I have hid behind a façade of “doing the right” thing. I can’t do that or this because it is bending the rules. I have played it too safe and it hasn’t gotten me anywhere.
I have been waiting for my life to happen rather than making it happen. Life is not like that. It is there for you to do something with. If life is like a rollercoaster, you have to actually get on the ride.
So I have the insight of what is wrong, do I have the heart to do something about it? I hope so. I am tired of this path I have been taking. It is time to really get ready and leave comfort behind. I have to make the change. I have to take the leap with both eyes wide open. It is my time to do something for me.
Here I go,
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